Yes I’m venting, so ignore this post if you don’t want to listen to me complain.
This week needs to end. Now. It’s only Wednesday but it feels like Friday:(.
I had a complete breakdown on Monday. I got so mad/frustrated/upset about having to deal with Lyme. I’m SO sick of it. I got mad at all the pills I have to load and take every day, at people and the world for not understanding, at the CDC for being IDIOTS!, at everything. I don’t even know who to blame.
I’m tired and worn out. I have NO energy to study for finals… thus I’ve done no studying. No energy to cook. And the gym? HA! That is HILARIOUS. Working out hasn’t happened in a very long while. Which only makes me feel even worse, lying around doing nothing. Honestly, if it wasn’t the week before finals I would be lying in bed all day and skipping all my classes- I fall asleep in all of them on a daily basis, only to be poked by my seat mates. I can’t concentration any of them, I’m not really sure what we’ve talked about in my classes this week. I guess it is pointless to go… And then of all things, I can’t fall asleep at night! I plan on going home in 1.5 weeks and sleeping. Literally sleeping for the WHOLE week. then it’ll be christmas, I’ll sleep some more and then I’ll be ready to come back to life (hopefully).
This week has just SUCKED! Actually the past week and half… it’s just been getting worse. I feel like crap- the nausea is not going way and the only thing I’ve been able to stomach the past few days is rice cakes, rice cakes, crackers, rice cakes, cracker, a banana (sometimes), some almond butter occasionally, coconut milk ice cream (!!!!!), and chocolate chip cookies (hmmm not sure how that one happened ;)). But actually. Scrambled eggs occasionally. and apples sometimes. Everything else just makes me even more nauseous.
I hate having this. I want to be normal and not feel like crap when all my friends want to go out. I want to not feel like dying and sleeping 24/7. F*ck.