health, Recipes

Garlicky Paleo Crackers: Grain-Free, Gluten-Free

These week was longgggg. I had a huge test Friday I spent ALL week studying for. Then failed. Ugh. We also got, like, 3 feet of snow! We had a snow day (sorta) on Wednesday. School closed after noon but all my classes were in the morning… I played in the snow anyway. My friends and I built an igloo, it was awesome!

Image Inside the igloo!

Image That’s a bench piled high with snow… before the big hit we got on Wednesday! It snowed Mon-Wed and that was before it started pouring white fluff on us Wednesday afternoon.

So yeah… I was doing that instead of baking things for you guys. I do have a crockpot recipe that I made… then ate… So once I make that again (which WILL be happening) and I can get some pictures, I’ll post it.

Today is Saturday… and I cleaned! YAY FINALLY! I even did the bathroom! (I HATE cleaning and the bathroom is a gross room in general so it scares me to clean it). Be proud.

So on to the recipe… crackers, fantastic! I love pretzels and crackers and chips and crunchy salty things. But you can’t really eat that if you are paleo or gluten free (you can find gluten free options but I’m paleo, remember?!). So anyway, here you go 🙂



1/4 cup coconut flour

1/2 cup ground flaxseeds/flaxseed meal

1/4 tsp. onion powder

1/2 teaspoon garlic salt (add more if want stronger garlic flavor)

a few shakes of the pepper shaker

1/2 tsp. baking powder

1 egg

1/4 cup melted coconut oil

1/2 cup boiling water

Preheat oven to 375 F.

Mix all the dry ingredients together in a bowl. Add the egg and beat in. Add the melted coocnut oil and mix. Start slowly pouring in the hot water a little at a time, mixing it in thoroughly until you have a good dough. A good consistency for the dough is when it isn’t too dry that it is crumbly but holds together and is slightly sticky. You don’t want it to be too wet.

Take a 13X9 inch baking dish and spray with nonstick spray (or cover with butter, whatever you want to use as your nonstick). Place your dough into the dish and press out thin to all the edges. Be gentle but press your dough so that it covers the bottom of the whole dish. Cut your crackers into the shapes you desire (squares, long rectangles, dinosaurs, whatever you want!). Another option is to roll the dough out between two pieces of parchment paper and then peel the top layer off and place the bottom one with the dough onto a baking sheet.


Bake for 20-25 minutes until golden brown and crispy. Let cool completely before eating then eat plain, with avocado and tomato slices, with cheese, or whatever you happen to fancy eating your crackers with.



I already told you it was Saturday but it’s night time now (I know you are excited I’m giving you a real time update of my life!) and I’m currently baking a batch of these coconut cake bad boys! Yeah, it’s Saturday night and I’m baking. I’m not exactly the typical PARTY OUR ASS OFF EVERY WEEKEND OMG IT’S 4/20 college kid. Lyme doesn’t allow it plus I don’t like drunk people, they piss me off. So I stay home and bake things and do yoga during commercial breaks and write blog posts while goodies are in the oven.

Back to the coconut muffins, the only changes I made were using only 1/3 cup of honey (you could probably get away with using 1/4) and using applesauce instead of coconut oil. WHY SUB OUT THE COCONUT OIL? You scream. Well, my clumsy Lyme self went ahead and spilled all the melted coconut oil all over my kitchen floor. I’m now sliding around my kitchen to get from one side to the other… I’m waiting for my roommate to notice… eek! OH, also, I didn’t make the glaze. I wanted more of a slightly sweet muffin then a glazed cupcake of sorts. Plus, I don’t need that extra sugar (especially with Lyme!).

So there you have it…. A Saturday night in the life of Victoria. Woot woot! 😉

Wow that was a long post- sorry.

5 thoughts on “Garlicky Paleo Crackers: Grain-Free, Gluten-Free”

    1. I don’t think it would be the best for a pizza crust. It would need some adjustments to make it a better crust. Maybe if you didn’t thin it out as much (less cracker thinness and more crust thickness)?


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